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She started to feel another bout of sadness surging up her heart. Her eyes started to ache slightly; the pitch of her voice changed a little as she asked, “I didn’t hear you say this story the last time round.”

“That play was bought by a young master who was a wastrel. He came here often to eat noodles. He let them perform this play here daily, till everyone got sick of it. The boss of the play, Granny Qin, was very sad. You’re a foreigner. Did you enjoy hearing that story for the first time? Do you like this story? Do you want to go to Granny Qin’s house to hear it again? She’ll be very happy.”

As the wind blew, Chu Qiao used her sleeve to cover her face and turned around. The child asked in a warm tone, “Did something get in your eye?”

As Chu Qiao remained silent, the child thought that she had really got something in her eye. The child said hurriedly, “Wait here. I’ll get some vegetable oil for you.”

As the child finished her words, she jumped off the table to retrieve the item. When she came back, the seat was empty. A full bag of silver was left on the table.

The streets were cold; there were no pedestrians, acrobats, merchants, nor dancers. The surface of the lake was tranquil; no boats could be seen. She was the only person on the street, like a wandering spirit floating around in solitude. As she passed by a candy shop, she stopped in her tracks for a while before heading in to buy some snacks. Those were what Li Ce had bought for her last time. There were candied fruit, dates, osmanthus cakes, and chestnuts, all packaged in one bag. As she walked, she ate slowly. She chewed the snacks in a robotic motion. As she thought of the child’s story earlier on, her eyes started to tear again as the tears flowed into her mouth. The salty smell of the tears, along with the scent of the candy, made the taste in her mouth very bitter. Her memories were like fragments, floating around in her head.

“You should thank me properly then. Saving your life is no ordinary favor. Why not you stay here in Tang and marry me to repay the favor?” Back then, he stood in front of her as he mentioned these words to her jovially.

As she was surrounded by Zhao Yang, he intervened at the critical moment. With a certain type of swagger and ruggedness, he embraced her as he said repeatedly: It’s alright. It’s alright.

As she wandered in the depths of the abyss, he appeared in front of her and consoled her by saying: Qiaoqiao, why don’t you let yourself off?

In that cold night at the palace, he appeared in a drunken state and hugged her unknowingly. After that, he said with a smile: Fu’er’s figure is much better than yours.

...

She had not known all along. The bottom of her heart was like a forbidden zone—she had never explored it. She did not know whether she really felt indifferent, or if she had just been deceiving herself. She did not want to know anymore.

The clear, pale moonlight shone on the ground, illustrating the beauty of the crabapple flowers by the roadside. They glowed a bright red, like the color of high-grade cosmetics. As the wind blew across them, the flower petals fluttered in mid-air before landing on Chu Qiao’s hair and clothes.

“Foxy Li, did you like anyone else before?” In the radiant courtyard of Mihe Residences, they sat shoulder to shoulder under the crabapple tree that they had shifted from the street back to the palace. As she frowned, she questioned and looked at Li Ce suspiciously, who was diligently trying to pick the portrait of the most beautiful woman.

“Of course!” Li Ce raised his eyebrows and replied in a serious tone, “Yesterday night, I loved Yu’er from Ranli Palace. Her skin was smooth as silk, her legs were so long. Compared to...”

“Shut up, shut up!” Chu Qiao interrupted him as she frowned. “I’m talking about...about...that kind of ‘like’. It’s like... It’s like...”

Li Ce looked at her from the side of his eyes and added in disdain, “Like how that Zhuge fellow likes you, right?”

Chu Qiao blushed and replied nonchalantly, “Yes! You’re right! So what?”

“What can I do to you?” Li Ce sneered as he lowered his head to continue picking his portrait. After a while, he suddenly nodded and exclaimed.

Chu Qiao was stunned as she asked, “What was that for?”

Li Ce replied impatiently, “Didn’t you ask me whether I liked someone else like that Zhuge fellow? I’m answering your question.”

“Ah? You liked someone else before? Why didn’t I know?”

Li Ce laughed heartily as he looked up towards the sky, saying with a glimmer in his voice, “If you could guess my thoughts that easily, wouldn’t I lose all my face?”

Chu Qiao continued to probe with the intention to gossip, “What does your crush look like?”

“Nothing special,” Li Ce mentioned casually. “Her figure is ordinary, she has a short temper, she likes to split hairs. Most importantly, she has someone else in her heart already. She doesn’t like me.”

“Ah?” Chu Qiao was shocked as she asked subconsciously, “Why don’t you tell her then?”

Li Ce smiled chicly and replied, “It’s better to keep that sort of stuff in your heart. Why say it out? Furthermore...” His voice droned out as he paused slightly. The wind blew from the direction of Taiqing Lake, lifting up a loose strand of hair on his temple. He looked up and gazed afar at the surface of the lake, appearing lost in the moment for an instant. “Furthermore, I may never have the chance to tell her that in my life anymore.”

Chu Qiao looked at him silently back then, seemingly visualizing the landscape in the distance through his eyes. She had thought of Princess Fu, who had hung herself on the sycamore tree. She had thought of Murong Fu’er, who killed herself on the day of her wedding for the king of Luo. She sympathized with him as she thought to herself: If not for that, this lad might have been a decent person.

Her eyes started to water up again as the tears flowed down her face. The cold winds blew as the red petals of the crabapple flower scattered around in mid-air, making the sight seem like a flower storm.

The desolate winds swept through the city, leaving behind it a trail of red. The black curtains in the palace were replaced with white ones. In one night, the emperor had passed away, while the empress dowager had killed herself. For the next 49 days, the funeral bells rang out as the nation grieved.

On the day Li Ce was buried in the imperial mausoleum, Chu Qiao moved out of Jinwu Palace. As the autumn leaves became a rarity, the landscape looked bleak. She was dressed in a cotton white dress as she stood atop Xilan Gates, looking at the party sending him off on his final journey as they disappeared at the end of the street.

The sunset painted the landscape a golden yellow. Tall patches of weeds had grown on the wastelands outside Tang Jing as they swayed around with the desolate autumn winds. Amidst the twilight, the birds flew southwards. A bright red color appeared in the sky. As her shadow became longer and thinner, it reflected onto the city walls of Tang Jing, which had gone through hundreds of years of storms.

Li Ce, forgive me for not being able to send you off. Take care.

As the sun set, the moon soared above the mountain peaks, projecting its rays of light onto her clothes and pale face. As she inhaled the airs of autumn, a sour feeling suddenly started to brew within her heart, spreading across her body. Her heart was cold.

Meixiang walked towards her and whispered, “Miss, let’s go.”

She stared at the street for one last time, before turning around and stepping away inch by inch. The city walls were dark and looked ferocious, like a dormant beast waiting to eat away at her last bits of determination.

The dust was swept up as she stepped on the ground. The big birds spread their black wings as they circled in the sky. She walked down, step by step, as if she was wandering into a deep swamp. Behind her was a barren wasteland. Further on, the majestic mountains of Tang, prosperous cities awaited her. Finally, the pass was stationed at the end of those places. After that, the territory of Xia lay in wait.

Having traversed through countless lands, she did not manage to escape the river of fate as she was swept along by its currents.

A carriage stopped under the city gates. Sun Di was dressed in a green outfit and appeared handsome as he stood at the side to welcome her respectfully. Softly, he said, “Miss, please get in the carriage.”

“I want to walk alone,” Chu Qiao replied softly with a calm expression on her face.

As Meixiang wanted to butt in, Sun Di handed a lantern over to Chu Qiao and said, “The journey at night is difficult. Miss, please head back early.” The finely cultivated paper lantern was wrapped around the light, as it gave off a pale white glow. Chu Qiao nodded as she turned around to leave with the lantern. Meixiang followed behind her in a hurried manner, but was held back by Sun Di as the young man shook his head slightly. The crescent moon shone on the young lady as she wandered off into the distance.

Today was Li Ce’s funeral. There was not a single soul on the streets, only the crabapple flowers swaying by the roadside and scattering its petals about.

“Qiaoqiao, Qiaoqiao...” In that instant, she seemed to hear him calling out again. The man frowned with a cunning look in his eyes, as he looked at her with a smile.

The landscape looked utopian as the lights sparkled. The fog clouded the man’s eyes, making them appear pale and lonely. Finally, he leaned on the chair as he smiled at her weakly, reached out his arms, and called out, “Qiaoqiao, let me hug you.”

A teardrop flowed out of the young lady’s eyes. She did not wipe it off as she continued to walk along. The lantern let out a faint ray of white light, similar to the moonlight.

She had been through a lot for the past ten or so years. Half her life, she had wandered along a difficult path. She had fallen and picked herself up many times, but she had ultimately ended up on an uncertain path. Her past self had been trapped by love. She had experienced it all, from being touched, to being helpless, to being stubborn, weak and to being sad. Presently, that incompetent woman had died along with her unfortunate plight.

“Life is a bed of thorns. If one’s self and heart remain unmoved, one will not get hurt. If one’s self and heart are moved, the pain will pierce all the way through to the bones, making one’s life a living hell.”

Zhuge Yue, you were right. I’m like you, having been thrown into that bed of thorns. Instead of shutting my heart off, why not I open up and cut off the thorns around me?

As her tears dropped into the lantern, a gust of wind blew towards it as well, extinguishing the flame inside the lantern. All that was visible was a foggy road that led upwards. She took a deep breath and threw the lantern to the ground. She straightened her back and walked forward. She swore to herself that this would be the last teardrop that she shed in her life. From then on, she would not cry again even if she bled herself dry.

There were bright rows of lights ahead. From afar, a flamboyant residence sat amongst the colorful flowers. The majestic lights shone everywhere, making the sight a spectacular one.

Sun Di was dressed in a clean outfit as he stood in front of the door holding a palace light, awaiting her return. “Miss, have you sorted your thoughts out?”

Chu Qiao looked at him as the silvery-white moonlight shone on her face. She nodded silently and said in a heavy tone, “I’ve never been so clear.”

Sun Di laughed and handed his paper lantern to her. With that, he said with a smile, “The journey at night is difficult. Let this lantern light the way for you then.”

“The candlelights can be extinguished by the wind, but the flames of passion in the heart cannot.” Chu Qiao walked in front of him towards the flamboyant residence and added in a heavy tone, “From now, my eyes will be my lantern while my heart will be the flame in the lantern.”

When she stepped into the gates of the residence, an intense array of lights greeted her, blinding her for an instant. A white jade passageway led all the way from the entrance to the front hall. The water in the pools by the sides of the room was pristine clear. There were countless rooms in the building, adorned by portraits and statues. A fragrance lingered around the walls of the building. Curtains that were made of brocade and pearls hung everywhere. The pillars were made of gold. The setting was like the spring winds in the third month of the year, mesmerizing anyone who got in contact with it.