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Chapter 82 - Escaping from Burial Grounds (XIII)

Editor: Kitty

“I’ve been constantly waiting for this opportunity.” Xing Yan smiled at Luo Jian. His smile was gentle, and because he was also very handsome, such a smile made him appear even more charismatic. Following that, he moved a step towards Luo Jian, who reflexively stepped back.

I should not do this, Luo Jian said to himself. What he should do was carry on with his intended actions and seize his identity back from the other. Only in this way could Luo Jian live. That should be the right thing to do for Luo Jian, to not retreat even when the other party pressured him slightly. He should not feel afraid or back down.

But it was too late; Luo Jian had already retreated, and Xing Yan had clearly seen him do so. The smile on his face widened, carrying an overbearing arrogance, and he stepped forward towards Luo Jian, who could only retreat backwards until his back hit the wall. There was no space for retreat.

Then, Xing Yan closed the gap between them. He was almost sticking to Luo Jian, and this time, the icy-cold stalker seemed to carry the warmth of a human. When his other hand reached out to hold Luo Jian in his arms, Luo Jian could even clearly hear his heartbeat. He was warm and breathing, and Luo Jian could feel his body temperature.

However, on the contrary, Luo Jian could not feel his own temperature any longer. His entire body was icy-cold, and his body was numb as if he was not alive, but his limbs were still able to move. His blood and heart had coalesced at the same time. He felt as if he had become...... something akin to the walking dead.

He felt as if he could understand Xing Yan very well now, so when Xing Yan held him tight to spread some warmth to him, Luo Jian shivered in his arms. Luo Jian did not know what to do anymore. He was very scared because he knew he was slowly ‘losing:’ losing his player’s identity and also losing the feelings of being ‘alive.’ Towards the secret chamber, the stalkers were just resurrected puppets, and they could not even count as real, living ones. Therefore, once Luo Jian became a ‘stalker,’ obviously, a part of Luo Jian would already pass on.

With the ‘death’ of that part of Luo Jian, Xing Yan would accordingly slowly gain something that did not belong to him. He slowly would be able to be alive again, to be someone filled with life, to become a real player, instead of a numb butcher wielding a knife while having to stay hidden in dark corners. He could walk out in the sun with no sense of guilt. However, all of that, of course, originally belonged to Luo Jian.

Yes, if Xing Yan succeeded in replacing Luo Jian’s identity, then he would be able to get more than Luo Jian’s player status or even his real-life identity. Everything that belonged to Luo Jian—all his family members, wealth, properties—would all be ceded to a stranger with the transfer of his identity.

Luo Jian’s parents may only find some change in their son’s character, and they would not even notice that their son had changed to someone else throughout the entire process.

That was the ‘identity replacement’ system of the secret chamber, and those were the most powerful and terrifying parts of it.

Not only the identity, but even the ‘existence’ of the person would also be given away.

And Luo Jian, at this moment, was clearly sensing that his ‘existence’ was slowly disappearing. It was not as if he had really vanished; it was simply that he could no longer feel he was the same person he had been originally. Something terrifying was blurring the clear lines of life and death. He was no longer himself; his sanity was being drawn away, and his soul was being distorted. Gradually, his memories were fading. He had felt the same thing he had previously felt when he had just awakened and was lying on his brother’s back.

Hunger, thirst, insanity, and chaotic thoughts flooded his mind.

“I know how you feel right now.” Xing Yan opened his mouth and whispered beside Luo Jian’s ear. Using his arms, he pulled Luo Jian into his embrace, fiddled with his hair with his fingers, and used his cheek to rub against Luo Jian’s. His voice seemed to carry some sort of enticement: “You will find that you can’t control yourself. The secret chamber first throws away what inhibits those beast-like thoughts. They will completely turn you into some kind of a devil so that you hold aggression toward any living creatures within your line of sight&#k2026; You must have seen the red in your vision, and those in the colour red tempt you as if they are matadors, holding bright red capes, and you are the crazy and aggressive bull. “

Luo Jian shrank in Xing Yan’s embrace. His head felt sore, the contents of his stomach were twitching, and all this made him curl up into a ball. He grabbed Xing Yan’s lapels and looked at him as if he was begging for help.

Xing Yan continued to speak as he smiled. It was as if he was taunting him: “After the secret chamber turns you into a devil, it will empty your soul, and it will build a system in your body that helps make you into an obedient puppet. This allows you to act properly when the chamber issues orders to you.”

Luo Jian could not stand the pain. His head hurt particularly badly, and he could not help it. He recalled what Specter had said: this could not go on any longer. He must kill this man!

The pain grew more intense. Luo Jian opened his mouth, but he was not able to let out a sound. He struggled to reach out his hand and grabbed Xing Yan’s neck, but Xing Yan did not resist in the slightest; he just smiled and gazed at him. However, his voice sounded as if it came from the depths of hell. He said:

“You can no longer make a sound, and the secret chamber will clog all the ways you can vent. At this time, you will find that your shell acts like a cage: it will lock your soul in the deepest depths within you, and in the same way, your sanity will be locked in there. One day you will go mad, you will not be able to stand it, and you will shred your soul. Then finally, you will turn into the walking dead.”

Xing Yan looked at him: “Are you scared?”

Luo Jian could not answer. He tightened his fingers and choked Xing Yan hard, but Xing Yan still held him within his arms. As his fingers gently stroked Luo Jian’s hair, Xing Yan’s voice remained light: “I was scared too.”

Xing Yan’s sentence made Luo Jian stunned momentarily, and no matter how hard he tried, he could not use the strength in his hands. He knew that Xing Yan probably just wanted a chance—a chance at rebirth. He used to be a player in the secret chamber, and just like what Duan Li had said to Luo Jian, he had been the captain of a certain team that could summon wind and call for rain. He was once a powerful veteran but had to wander a world of darkness because he had once failed.

Luo Jian could even give his identity to Xing Yan because of his feelings for him; if those feelings of like or love were real, then Luo Jian could definitely cede his identity to him, let him be reborn, and let him live instead of continuing to be a walking dead, even if the price was Luo Jian himself becoming one of the walking dead.

But Luo Jian’s cousin also clearly said, Losers are never worthy of sympathy.

“I’m scared too,” Xing Yan repeated, and he continued to stroke Luo Jian’s hair, cheeks, and neck. Xing Yan gazed at him and saw his pupils, which were as red as fresh blood.

Luo Jian choked his neck with a hand, but he seemed to be unable to use any strength. Luo Jian was extremely afraid. A complex expression was reflected on his face—he was extremely terrified and in so much pain.

“Will you allow me to continue being afraid?” Xing Yan asked him.

“Will you let me continue to be one of the walking dead?”

“Are you going to let me return to the darkness again?”

[What about you? In such a cruel way, will you also let me replace you, to become a creature that dwells in the dark?]

Luo Jian suddenly cried out, and tears rolled down from his eyes within seconds. He looked at Xing Yan and seemed to be unable to understand him. He shook his head while he cried. This man, this man, this man, the man who Luo Jian had carefully been sentimentally attached to. Luo Jian remembered the first time he encountered him, the cruel stalker had only used a weapon and blood to make Luo Jian never be able to forget him.

That’s right; this stalker was so cruel that every time they met, Luo Jian would be forced into desperate situations by this man. They had no way to engage in conversation in the truest sense. His name and all other details were heard from somebody else. Luo Jian could only passively accept the other party’s forceful actions each and every time, and from very early on, he had lost the complete right to resist him.

So, if Xing Yan really wanted Luo Jian’s identity, wanted a chance to be born again, Luo Jian would also not be able to resist that.

He did not have the right to revolt. He did not.

Luo Jian cried as he withdrew his hands. He did not intend to strangle this stalker to death. He could not do it. He did not have the determination to kill this man, and he did not understand, for Luo Jian had always thought that Xing Yan had liked him just like how Luo Jian had always liked Xing Yan.

It was scary, wasn’t it? It all started simply because of an accidental kiss.

Luo Jian was bawling, and he was also very scared. He pushed Xing Yan away. He didn’t want to stay here anymore. Since Xing Yan wanted his identity, then he would just give it to him. Luo Jian was so disappointed, and he had never experienced such sadness. It was more painful than anything that had happened to him before. He thought he had failed and could not make a move against this man because Xing Yan had also protected him several times before.

However, when Luo Jian turned around and tried to leave, Xing Yan pulled his hand again, and his voice was still gentle: “Where are you going, my baby?”

Luo Jian turned his head to look at him, but the tears were still welling out of his eyes. His face was covered with tears. Seeing this, Xing Yan felt that it was hilarious. He rubbed Luo Jian’s head and said to him, “You are so silly. I was born within the darkness. I’ve long been used to it, so how could I bear to send you to your death?”

Luo Jian stared at him with disbelief; his eyes grew larger, and with his teary eyes, he looked at Xing Yan with a heart like a capering monkey and a mind like a galloping horse. Xing Yan could not help but move closer to Luo Jian and gave him a peck on his eyelids. Yet again, Luo Jian was stuffed into Xing Yan’s embrace.

“I merely wanted to tell you,” Xing Yan sighed, “I don’t know how to tell you because I really don’t count as a real human being. The real Xing Yan is dead, and like I said before, his body turned into a cage, his soul that was locked in his body has gone mad, and he has successfully shredded his soul and become an empty shell. And I am born from the darkness...... born into this body as a consciousness originating from darkness. I occupy an empty shell called ‘Xing Yan’ while being unsure if I am completely Xing Yan because I not only occupied this shell, but also inherited his memories.

“I just want to tell you I’m not human, and even if I really seized your player’s identity from you, I don’t count as a real human. But I wanted to talk to you, I want to tell you some things, and I want to know how you feel about me. I’m always thinking about you, and when we’re apart, I want to fly to your side. Regardless of what happens, all that matters is that we are together.”

Xing Yan hugged Luo Jian tighter, and Luo Jian could not help but bury his face into Xing Yan’s chest. He realized the intensity of these feelings; they were like lovers who had just fallen into love. If they could, they would always stay together, but circumstances made it so that they could forever only live in two distinct worlds.

“I don’t know what humans are like when two people are in love. In fact, there is no such thing in Xing Yan’s memories. I would like to be able to express my feelings for you in a normal way, but I can’t even make a sound. I’m very sorry that I could only deprive you of your voice. Although it’s for a short duration, you might have to wait a long, long, long time before you can hear me speak to you again, but I can’t continue to bear it.”

Luo Jian raised his head to look at Xing Yan, who smiled as he gazed at him: “What I want to tell you is...... I like you very much.

This was... a confession? Luo Jian suddenly blushed, but he was afraid to blink, so he could only continuously gaze at Xing Yan. He watched this man’s smiling expression and indulged in the gentle tone and intoxicating tenderness of the other.

Xing Yan lowered his head, moving his lips closer, and planted a kiss on Luo Jian’s lips. He could feel a wet softness on his lips; it was just a very simple kiss, and their lips had merely touched. After a long pause, Xing Yan let go of him but could not help but peck Luo Jian’s forehead.

“I still have a lot to say, but half an hour is simply not enough.” Xing Yan seemed to feel that it was a pity, and he looked at Luo Jian with regret: “I know that you have always had your defenses up against me and have not been able to properly trust my feelings for you. I don’t mind because as long as you require something, I will head over to help you.”

T/N: A very touching chapter. <3 I’m really glad, glad that XY is not what Specter had described. qaq

Kitty: It’s so sad that this was the only way for them to talk... XY had to go to this extent to have a conversation with LJ (╥_╥)