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Chapter 40: How We Used to Be (10)



She used almost all of her energy to haul Su Zhinian into his bed. After she pulled off his jacket, put him into bed, and prepared to leave, he suddenly reached out for her wrist. And then...

And then, he dragged her into bed and pressed her down onto it.

Song Qingchun’s eyelashes started to shiver when she thought about what happened next. Even after so many years, she could still remember clearly how desperately she had begged Su Zhinian to let her go.

She cried until she choked on her tears, but he powered on like he could not hear her pleas for help and boorishly tore her clothes into shreds. She struggled so hard that night that her fingernails clawed out blood on his shoulders...

Honestly, she could not remember fully everything that had happened that night, then again, who could have blamed her? Perhaps her psyche had helped her block out her consciousness when the deed went down.

She could not remember how he violated her, but when she came to, she was already ruined. She felt pain, but more than that, she felt despair. At that moment she stopped struggling and she went absolutely quiet, allowing him to do anything to her.

When he finally let her go, she did not stay in his room for even one extra second. She returned to her own bedroom and showered for one whole hour. Her tears running down the drain alongside the water.

She was only eighteen when it happened... She never tasted love, she had never taken a man’s hand, and her first kiss was even still intact... Even with Qin Yinan, whom she loved dearly, she could not imagine doing those things with him... But Su Zhinian... he had taken her very innocence...

Song Qingchun stopped her mind from wandering further. She did not realize there were tears running down her face. She quickly retrieved the paper napkin to dry her tears. She glanced at her phone and noticed it was already 6 pm.

She only had one hour left until 7 pm, until she needed to show herself at Su Zhinian’s bungalow...

Song Qingchun arranged her emotions and went to the bathroom to wash her face. Then she went downstairs with her luggage in tow. She did not drive but walked out of the residential area to hail a cab by side of the road.

The car was stuck in night time traffic and the trip that would normally take fifteen minutes took nearly fifty minutes. Song Qingchun dragged her luggage to Su Zhinian’s front door. She pulled out her phone to check the six numbers he sent that morning. After keying in the password, she got in.

Su Zhinian was not home, so Song Qingchun had no idea where to deposit herself. Therefore, she temporarily left her luggage by the door.

Su Zhinian said that she was to be responsible for his living arrangements for the next one hundred days.

Song Qingchun began by preparing dinner. The banality of cooking calmed her nerves, but when that was done, her heart started to shrink thinking about the reality; Su Zhinian would return at any moment.

Song Qingchun planted herself on the living room sofa, her ears tuned toward the sounds of cars outside the house. She felt like she was no different from a fish on the chopping block, just waiting for that fatal blow from Su Zhinian.

Time slowly passed until it was 11 pm and Su Zhinian still had not shown himself. Song Qingchun was rather tired from being so tense, so she crashed down on the sofa and fell to sleep just like that.

The sleep was extremely restless. She woke up every few minutes to check to see whether Su Zhinian had returned or not. If he hadn’t, she would sigh in relief and close her eyes again. After so many repetitions, Song Qingchun finally heard the sound of a car engine coming from outside...


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