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Chapter 3: Chapter 3 Treat me like a fart! (Part 1)

Chen Yu: "...I don\'t think I can die. I know my own condition; it\'s not anything pre-emptive..."

"If we rule out the possibility of \'preemptive naming,\' then you must suspect you are a \'malevolent entity.\'" The middle-aged officer closed the file, his eyes narrowing slightly: "Only a malevolent entity can have a \'naming\' that does not match its true identity. This needs to be investigated by the Human Security Bureau."

"If that\'s the case, I think your analysis, Chief, is quite reasonable," Chen Yu quickly changed his statement.

"Wang, contact a reputable comprehensive hospital for him for a full physical examination and psychological diagnosis," the middle-aged police officer handed the file to the station chief\'s assistant: "The station will cover the expenses."

"Alright." The middle-aged woman took the file and nodded as she left.

Meanwhile, the male officer asked, "Chief, do you think he died from an illness or suicide?"

"I don\'t think so, he seems quite healthy," the middle-aged officer shook his head: "If it were due to mental illness resulting in suicide, he would have died a long time ago having been homebound. I suspect he might have been murdered. But to be thorough, let\'s get all the necessary medical examinations done in advance. Rule out all possibilities."

Chen Yu couldn\'t help but retort, "So in your eyes, I\'m already dead, right?"

"One more thing," the middle-aged officer instructed: "Check the deceased\'s social relations before death."

Chen Yu: "Good grief."

"He seems to have been quite in touch with the delivery guy," the male officer looked at Chen Yu and asked, "Who did you have conflicts with before?"

Chen Yu: "Mainly the two of you."

"Alright, that\'s it. You two take Chen Yu to the hospital, and the other check the delivery guy," the middle-aged officer ordered: "I\'ll go notify the top. \'Preemptive naming\' is too rare, and it\'s a matter of life and death after all."

"Yes," the young male and female officers stood at attention.

"Do you have anything else to say?" the middle-aged officer asked Chen Yu.

"Are you referring to last words?" Chen Yu asked.

"Either will do," the middle-aged officer waved his hand: "Get him pen and paper."

...

"Ever heard this phrase, girl?"

"It\'s called life and death are decreed by fate, wealth and honor are decreed by heaven."

"Respect other\'s fate, abandon the desire to help compulsively."

"Although I supposedly have \'dead person\' on my head, I\'m still very much alive for now, right?"

"So, no matter what I face later, at least for now, let me go back quickly."

"Detained!"

"You are detaining me illegally!"

"Don\'t touch me! Ugh—"

In the Second People\'s Hospital of Qingcheng City, Chen Yu sat on a chair, a tube being inserted by a doctor into his throat and deep into his stomach.

"Just a gastroscopy, what\'s all the fuss about?" the female officer rolled her eyes as she stood aside.

"—Ugh..."

Shortly after, the doctor withdrew the gastric tube, and Chen Yu bent over in pain, retching: "Damn it... cough cough..."

"Doctor, any issues?" the female officer turned to ask the doctor.

"Besides detecting a mild Helicobacter pylori infection during the breath test, everything else is fine," the doctor removed his medical gloves: "The results will be out in the afternoon."

"Alright, thank you," the female officer nodded, glanced at the file, and pulled Chen Yu up: "Next on the list is a colonoscopy. Let\'s go."

"Just kill me now," Chen Yu straightened up, swallowed hard twice, feeling drained: "Why don\'t you all from the station gang up and kill me outright."

"We are doing this for your own good, why are you like this?" the female officer frowned, dissatisfied: "Don\'t you know you are close to death?"

"I swear... I\'ve figured it out, my cause of death will probably be you guys tormenting me to death," Chen Yu said bitterly, feeling extremely miserable.

"Quit your whining, let\'s get going." They grabbed Chen Yu, pushed the door, and headed to the proctology department on the fourth floor.

"Grandma, it\'s been a whole day, I\'ve undergone over a dozen tests, can I rest for a bit?"

"No." The policewoman refused.

"So what if I threaten to kill myself!" Chen Yu said through clenched teeth.

The policewoman smiled, "Then we could close the case."

Chen Yu: "..."

"Where is he? Where is the patient?"

"Upstairs! Look, there\'s the director, over there!"

Just then, a chorus of shouts came from behind them. Chen Yu turned around and saw a middle-aged doctor in a white coat, with a group of white-coated folks, rushing towards him energetically.

Seeing the pair of legs sprinting and the excited expression on their faces, if they had been wearing slippers, they would have surely flown off by now.

"Chen Yu? Hello, Chen Yu!" The middle-aged doctor first glanced at the word "Corpse" above Chen Yu\'s head, becoming even more excited, hurriedly grabbed both of Chen Yu\'s hands, and enthusiastically shook them: "Welcome to the Second Hospital."

Chen Yu looked up.

The middle-aged doctor had several titles on his head including "PhD Supervisor at the Medical University; Authority Expert; National Academician; Vice Director of the Second People\'s Hospital of Qingcheng" which almost covered the heads of the two assistants next to him.

"Are you stacking buffs?" Chen Yu couldn\'t help asking.

"Ah? What?" The middle-aged doctor was momentarily baffled before responding enthusiastically, wrapping his arm around Chen Yu\'s shoulder, "Comrade Chen Yu, hello, I am the director of the hospital. I... "

"You want to use me for an experiment?" Chen Yu blurted out, cutting him off.

"Ah? I... "

"Biopsy, dissection, research? Holy shit!" Chen Yu turned to the policewoman, alarmed: "I finally know how I died!"

"Hold on... it\'s not that serious." The middle-aged doctor quickly explained, "It\'s just that \'preemptive title\' is very rare and has great scientific value!"

"Look! He does want to dissect me!" Chen Yu grabbed the policewoman\'s arm frantically, "Hurry, let\'s go! He is the murder suspect!"

Chen Yu knew that his situation was not the so-called "preemptive title."

The "title" above his head was entirely fake, changing monthly, utterly useless.

If this "PhD Supervisor, Authority Expert, National Academician" somehow proved his "preemptive title" wrong and then, for his own research benefits, labeled him as a "harmful substance" and used him as a lab rat, it would be all over...

"Director, Chen Yu is currently under the protection list of the police, and you cannot contact him," the policewoman said dutifully, immediately stepping in front of Chen Yu.

"I mean no harm!" The middle-aged doctor waved his hands frantically: "I just hope that Chen Yu, in his spare time, could cooperate..."

"Can I interject?" Chen Yu asked the policewoman.

The policewoman: "Didn\'t you already do that?"

"Right, then I won\'t cooperate," Chen Yu replied.

"Don\'t be like that, Chen Yu, this is my business card," the middle-aged doctor stepped forward, took out a business card, handed it to Chen Yu circumventing the policewoman: "Of course, you will be compensated."

Upon hearing this, Chen Yu, who was just about set on refusing, subconsciously took the business card.

The policewoman: "..."

Chen Yu: "... I\'m just looking."

Rolling her eyes, the policewoman nodded at the director: "If there\'s nothing else, we\'ll proceed with other examinations for the protected person."

"Ah... okay." As the policewoman and Chen Yu left, the middle-aged doctor finally came to his senses, belatedly replying with a vacant look as he watched Chen Yu\'s retreating figure.

Just like watching a long-lost lover...

...