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Chapter 64: The Great War of Good and Evil (3)

“Alriiiiight!” the Murim Alliance\'s leader valiantly shouted. He was also holding a stick. “Let’s see who will be the one to unify murim!”

And the two martial artists clashed. Perhaps the word “clash” was giving them too much credit—it was nothing more than a street fight.

“Heavenly Demon Descent Step!”

“Hah! Sky-Shattering Yellow Ax!”

They shouted names that sounded legitimate as they fought, but that was pretty much it. The weapons in their hands were still sticks, and the sounds of their sticks bumping into each other were rather light and cheerful.

The sticks didn’t last long. After that, the Heavenly Demon and Murim Alliance\'s leader threw themselves at each other with their bare hands, glaring viciously the whole time. The Heavenly Demon grabbed the Murim Alliance\'s leader’s mustache while he pulled on her hair.

I was at a loss for words.

“What in the world...”

It was getting more ridiculous by the second. Everyone except the two brawlers was struck dumb.

—That’s strange, the Guardian mumbled, to my surprise. Their forms are proper, though.

What are you talking about?

—Their forms and their breathing methods are correct. They would be treated as top masters in my world too.

I turned my eyes back to the fight. The Murim Alliance\'s leader was about to poke the woman’s eyes out, forcing her to cover her face.

Are you serious?

—Don’t you see the exquisite principles? That eye poking echoes a divine dragon snatching an evil dragon’s cintamani[1] with its claws. If I had to give it a name, it would be the principle of Double Dragon Orb Fight. And the way she covers her face contains the essence of the bodhisattva covering the faces of all sentient beings, so it can be called the Thousand Form Bodhastiva...

I raised my hand to stop the Guardian’s explanation. So why is their match no better than a street fight?

—That is why it’s strange. When their forms are that good, their qi should be equally advanced and abundant as well. They’re fighting like shit because they aren’t using any qi—I mean aura. They wouldn’t be like that even if their dantians were destroyed... The Guardian cocked his head.

A possibility crossed my mind. It might be the only possible answer.

Mr. Sword Emperor, you’re just messing with me, aren’t you?

—Come on, Zombie. I’m not a demon. I don’t joke about this kind of stuff, the Guardian snapped. I mean, can’t you see it? I guess it’s because you went through secluded training with Preta, who used her aura to make up for her lack of mastery. Tsk, tsk. Well, that was the type of training you needed at the time though...

I couldn’t believe that the Guardian had summarized my years of fighting the Demon King of Autumn Rain as “secluded training.” Still, he was serious, and it turned out he wasn’t alone.

“That old man and the woman... They’re quite good.” The Viper narrowed his one eye. “The biting just now had the principle of CKB. And the arm throw is from MHS.”

—Wow. He’s a real weirdo, but he’s a martial artist alright. Yeah, the bite is like a colossal king of serpents’ bite. And the arm throw is like a menacing hawk’s swoop! See, Zombie? Unlike you, I have a good eye.

The Viper’s arms were crossed; he was watching the fight very seriously. I quietly pulled up his character window.

State of mind: If I analyze the attack routes showing up on my Take On The World Alone Skill... Yeah, I’m right. Those movements can be interpreted to “I’m fine with reincarnating into a Cerberus and protecting the front gate of the demon King’s castle, but the troublemaker and the class president reincarnated as my other two heads, so I’m suffering, stuck Between them.”

The arm throw can be understood as “A Male high school student who used to be a hero in an online game decided to be a true Hero with his younger childhood friend who Skipped her previous grade and is also a famous comic author.” I’m sure of it.

The Guardian shut his mouth.

The Chemist, not knowing the truth, tilted her head in confusion. “I-is that so, Sect Master...? That just looks like a children’s fight...”

“If anyone could see it, there would be no masters or beginners. Only people like me can see it.” The Viper shrugged.

State of mind: Oh my god. Their attacks open up so many new attack routes. How many are there? They’re way more skilled than the old Sword Star. I feel like I’m going to level up just by watching them fight. It seems I’m going to have a lot to teach my students when I’m back.

Mmmm... Mr. Sword Emperor.

—Yes, Zombie...?

It’s said that all water ends up in the ocean, right? And many different formulas are used to reach the same answer... That’s probably his way of understanding martial arts.

—Yeah. Thank you...

The so-called Murim Alliance\'s leader and Heavenly Demon were fighting like children. Somehow, that became the king of light novels’ source of inspiration and I had to console the Guardian. Fortunately, this bizarre situation didn’t last long.

“Achoo! For god’s sake! I’m going to freeze to death!” the Medicine King yelled. “You bastards, stop fighting already! We’re standing right here! Can’t you see us? Tsk, tsk. Tunnel vision is precisely what’s wrong with all you young people! It’s just like when I was young. Exactly the same!”

The roar of the geezer who left even the Sword Star at a loss for words worked like a charm.

The Murim Alliance\'s leader awkwardly scratched the back of his head. “It’s been a while since we had visitors. I guess it’d be rude to keep you out here. “

The Heavenly Demon cleared her throat. “I’ll take you to my cave.”

* * *

Before long, the sky cleared up and I didn’t have to light up the area using Shiny. The zombies couldn’t move in sunlight, allowing us to safely escape the snowfield.

However, the weak stamina of the Heavenly Demon and the Murim Alliance\'s leader became a new problem. She was the leader of the Heavenly Demon Cult while the Righteous Faction had him to lead them, which logically meant that they should be the strongest people in this world. The Guardian and the Viper vouched for their skills in their own ways.

Nevertheless...their stamina was so low that they panted when all we did was walk through the snow for a short while.

“Would it be okay if I carried you?” I cautiously asked, unable to watch them keep struggling.

“T-thank you. S-somehow, it’s difficult to use my cultivation art today.”

I ended up carrying the Heavenly Demon, and the Murim Alliance\'s leader on the Viper’s back just like before.

“This is not fair, Death King,” the Viper complained.

“What?”

“It should be like this.”

Since I had carried the Heavenly Demon before, I was now carrying the Murim Alliance\'s leader. The Viper had the Heavenly Demon on his back this time.

“Anyone would agree that it should be like this.”

“Sure...” I didn’t have the energy to argue anymore.

I walked a little with the Murim Alliance\'s leader on my back and realized that something felt odd.

—What’s wrong? The Guardian tilted his head.

He’s warm.

—Huh?

...His body temperature is really high, but the weather is freezing cold right now. I’d freeze to death immediately if I didn’t use my aura...but he’s warm.

The Guardian and I silently pondered the anomaly. Was he shielding himself using his qi, the aura in this world? But the Guardian couldn’t sense an ounce of qi from this man when he had just been fighting.

What? Something doesn’t add up.

We crossed the snowfield without figuring out why it didn’t add up. The Heavenly Demon guided us to a cave not far from the snowfield.

“This is my shelter.”

The cave had a big hole in the ceiling through which the light of the setting sun poured down.

“Wow...” the Chemist gasped. Behind her foggy glasses, her eyes sparkled. “I-it’s a hot spring.”

A deep pond sat in the floor of the cave, steam rising from its surface—a natural hot spring survived in this bone-aching cold and was warming up the cave. The light coming from above and a hot spring on the ground made for quite the picture.

“I found this place long ago. I didn’t know I was going to receive visitors from outer murim here though.” The Heavenly Demon smiled pleasantly. “Wash up first. The old man and I will search the cave to see if there is any food left to serve you.”

“Huh? Do we have something other than grain pills?”

“That’s why I said we should search the cave, old man. Is your age starting to get to your ears?”

“You always call me old man, but let’s be clear here. Our age gap isn’t that big!” the Murim Alliance\'s leader snapped.

“Do metamorphosis if you have a problem with that.”

The Heavenly Demon and Murim Alliance\'s leader bickered as they disappeared further into the cave.

We stayed by the hot spring and watched them go with a myriad of emotions.

“I-I’m surprised. They were at each other’s throat until a moment ago...”

“They said that they’ve been fighting for three years. I guess it’s possible to grow attached to each other as you fight,” the Medicine King grumbled. “By the way, it’s warm and nice here. Please get away from me now, Sect Master. It’s been very embarrassing to hold a man’s hand right after arriving in this world. “

“Why does the Sword Star hang out with a guy like you?” the Viper asked.

“Let’s get one thing straight. I hang out with him!”

“What the heck... Well, the Sword Star isn’t normal either. Fuck. Birds of a feather flock together, I guess.”

After the conversation, we rested in the hot spring. When we were done with our bath, the two martial artists treated us to their food.

“I’m sorry that it’s not much.”

“They’re grain pills. Help yourselves.”

The Heavenly Demon and the Murim Alliance\'s leader served us pills. They looked like those clear mind pills[2], but these pills were bigger.

“We used to occasionally find and hunt animals like wolves, but even they’ve become rare nowadays. I have no idea how the world got to this state.” The Heavenly Demon quietly sighed.

“Thank you for welcoming us.” I politely received a plate.

It had been three years since the world had begun its decline, so we were unlikely to find proper food still laying around. The Hunters and I cautiously nibbled on the grain pills.

“Urgh!”

The Viper and the Medicine King didn’t hide their grimaces. I almost dropped my poker face too. The pills tasted like old, raw coffee beans. They weren’t exactly food to be enjoyed.

“Is this all you’ve been eating...?” The Chemist picked up one of the grain pills and examined it from various angles.

The Heavenly Demon nodded. “Pretty much.”

“H-how long?”

The Heavenly Demon looked at the cave wall, where numerous lines had been carved. It looked like the two martial artists had been tallying the days since they first took shelter in this cave.

“It’s been over two years since these grain pills became our sole source of food.”

“Two years...” The Chemist groaned and tried hard to understand how they had survived on these pills. “Th-that doesn’t make sense. You can’t consume proper nutrients this way. Without a proper balance of glucides, lipids, proteins, vitamins, and minerals, humans—”

“Hmm? I don’t know what you’re talking about, but we can bear it.”

“I can’t bear it!” The Medicine King squawked, springing to his feet. He pulled out items like a portable burner, meat, and seafood from his subspace inventory. “Get out of my way, you goons! Tsk, tsk. This is why you don’t have the energy to cross the snowfield. You young people don’t think about your bodies, just like I didn’t when I was young. Do you have water?”

“Yeah, we melt the snow or use the water that flows into the cave when the sun has been out for several days...”

“This is getting crazier by the minute! Seventy percent of the human body is water and yet you drink such crappy water. That’s why your stamina is crappy too. The first step to improving your health is drinking proper water. Tsk, tsk.” The Medicine King lit up his portable burner and opened a bottle of mineral water.

The Chemist was shocked when she saw the logo on the bottle. “T-this is Bling H2O! This is really expensive...”

“What? It isn’t expensive at all! I just use it because it makes for okay cooking water. Gosh, I never even touched a bottle from this brand when I was outside the Tower. Tsk, tsk. Seriously, if that wasn’t Marcus...”

—Zombie, what’s Bling H2O? The Guardian tilted his head in confusion as he watched the sudden start of a cooking show.

I’m not sure. Maybe it’s something like Evian.

—What’s Evian? Is that like Sky-Pure Stone Essence?

What’s Sky-Pure Stone Essence?

—It’s this very expensive water.[3]

It’s probably something like that.

1. The raw is 여의주. Cintamani is usually a name for a wish-fulfilling jewel/orb/gem. In some cultures, dragons are said to carry these jewels/orbs/gems. ☜

2. The raw is 청심환. They are Korean traditional medicines often used to calm people. ☜

3. The raw is 공청석유. It’s an elixir that often shows up in Korean wuxia. There are regions where energy of nature accumulates for a long time and they form into drops of essence. ☜