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Chapter 168: I want to touch Sendai-san more — 168

Translated by KaiesV

Edited by KaiesV

Rare cheesecake and iced tea on the table.

It was Sendai-san who bought the after-dinner dessert, which some days there is and some days there is not, and she is sitting diagonally in front of me with her back to the bed.

「Why the cake?」

I ask, stroking the head of her room’s resident platypus. I really could have eaten in my room, but I came to Sendai-san’s room without any timing to say so after eating dinner.

「It’s to celebrate because the exam is over.」

Sendai-san said, “Itadakimasu,” and continued to pick up her fork. She then crumbled the tip of the cake and brought it to her mouth.

「I’m glad the exam is over, but is it enough to eat cake?」

「Even if it’s not as good as eating it, it tastes better if there’s a reason for it.」

「Isn’t Sendai-san just having her cake and eating it?」

「Well, yes. But it’s delicious. You should eat it, too, Miyagi.」

She smiles at me and I say,「Itadakimasu,」before taking a bite of cake.

The moist and smooth cream cheese and the cookie dough base mingle in my mouth.

The rare cheesecake was from the same store that Sendai-san had bought it from once before, and it was tart and refreshing. It had not been long since we had dinner, but it was so delicious that I could have eaten two or three pieces.

「Sendai-san, do you like rare cheese cake?」

Today, all that was in the box was two rare cheese cakes.

Last time there were four cakes in the box, and Sendai-san shared the rare cheesecake and shortcake with me, then ate the remaining baked cheesecake and strawberry tart.

「I like it.」

「If it were rare or baked cheesecake, which would it be?」

「Both. Miyagi might like the rare one.」

「That’s true, but…」

That time I asked Sendai-san which of the four cakes she liked best and he replied,「Strawberry tart and baked cheesecake.」Seeing that she bought two rare cheese cakes today, I think she prefers rare cheese cake to baked cheese cake, but Sendai-san doesn’t tell the truth.

「Other than cheesecake, what is Miyagi’s favorite cake?」

She’s trying to make it sound like she’s always going to be there.

Which one do I really like?

If you return a question to a question, Sendai-san will probably just answer「neither」again.

I would at least like to know her favorite cake, but it’s not something I would persistently ask.

「The ones that aren’t too sweet.」

Swallow any words that might be wasted and answer the question.

「It’s true that if it’s too sweet, I get bored halfway through.」

Sendai-san gulped down a cup of iced tea as she said this.

Anything about her seems difficult. I can’t even get the answer to the common question of which cheesecake I like better. I still don’t know who I like, which is a topic of conversation when my friends get together. Only my desire to know is swelling like a balloon, but I am unable to give her the balloon filled with questions I want to ask.

「Oh, right, Miyagi.」

Sendai-san clapped her hands as if she remembered.

「What are you going to do with your summer vacation? You’re not going home, are you?」

「I’m not leaving, but I haven’t decided what I’m going to do.」

In a few days, I’ll be on summer vacation, but my plans are blank.

There is nothing to do, even though the break is longer than high school.

「So, why don’t we go somewhere together? You won’t go out with Utsunomiya, do you?」

Sendai-san casually mentions Maika’s name.

Since then, the two seem to have become closer than ever, and sometimes the other’s name comes up when talking to either of them.

「Why do you think I don’t go out and play with Maika?」

「I heard from Utsunomiya that you are going back to your parents’ house for summer vacation. You said you were going to be over there for quite a long while, but have your plans changed?」

「…It hasn’t changed. I won’t be back until September, though.」

The Sendai-san and Maika I saw in this room seemed like they could have said they had been friends for a long time, and they seemed to hit it off, so I hope they can be mutual friends. But I didn’t know that we had become close enough to discuss our summer vacation plans.

「I see. Then you have more than enough time.」

Sendai-san chuckles.

We certainly have time.

I don’t mind going out with her during the summer vacation, but I don’t want to be honest and say it’s okay.

I want to know.

How well do she know Maika and what do they talk about?

I have never heard of the two of them meeting together, but I wonder if that will happen in the future.

I would like to know.

But I can’t ask that. I know that I shouldn’t go that far into Sendai-san’s friendships and that it’s unnatural to ask.

I break off a large piece of rare cheese cake in front of me and eat it in a snap. A refreshing sour taste spreads in my mouth. However, the cream cheese, which is supposed to be refreshing, turns into a heavy, stomach-churning taste.

「Let’s go have fun together during the summer vacation.」

Maika is my friend, and although getting close to Sendai-san will not change that, there is also a part of me that doesn’t want them to get close.

「I have no plans, but I don’t want to go anywhere.」

「Are you that much of a indoor person?」

「It’s hot and I don’t have to go all the way outside.」

This isn’t what I’m trying to say.

Because Sendai-san is too close to Maika, everything is bothering me and it’s not going well. I can’t say the right words because my mind is spinning with things I want to ask but can’t.

I think this is all Sendai-san’s fault.

This is what happens when she talks about Maika in a friendly way.

Maika is my best friend, my special friend, and I don’t want Sendai-san to get close to Maika.

I don’t want Sendai-san to take Maika away from me if I don’t do this.

No.

I have never cared who Maika was with until now.

And yet, when Sendai-san comes between us, I can’t sort out my feelings.

I——

I don’t want Maika to take Sendai-san away from me.

I hope that the distance between them will not get any closer.

No matter how close they get, no matter how close they are, that’s it. Maika never touches or kisses Sendai-san, and Sendai-san never touches or kisses Maika. I and Maika are different. I am Sendai-san’s roommate and I am the only one who can live with her. Even though I know this, I feel uneasy when Sendai-san’s interest shifts a little to other places.

「Well, if Miyagi is that much of a jerk, I don’t mind watching movies in the house.」

I hear Sendai-san’s voice interrupting my thoughts.

Not wanting to see her face, I glance at her plate and see that the rare cheesecake is gone.

I also put my fork in the cake.

I take a little bit into my mouth and drop it into my stomach.

I feel as if I am eating dirt in my mouth even though I am supposed to be eating cake.

「Do you have any movies you want to watch?」

Sendai-san says in a soft voice, as if she is concerned about me.

I must not be looking too good right now. My brows might be wrinkled and I may not have a good look in my eyes.

「Sendai-san can decide what to watch.」

I said casually and drinks my iced tea.

I should go back to your room now.

I empty my plate and put down my fork.

But before I could get up, Sendai-san grabbed my hand that was on the table.

「Miyagi, didn’t the cake taste good?」

Sendai-san’s questions and actions did not match at all. There should have been no need to hold my hand here, but she did.

She always does things that I don’t think she has a reason to do.

And whether there is a reason or not, Sendai-san’s body is soft, warm and comfortable. When I touch Sendai-san, I can rest assured that her interest is in me. I can also stop worrying about Maika.

That’s why, I would like to touch Sendai-san.

I don’t think it should be someone else.

But I don’t want to make her “special.”

The only special thing about the relationship should be that we are roommates.

We share a room with the promise that we will stay until we graduate from college, and that is a promise we have not made to anyone else. But our special has a time limit: until graduation. Even in high school, I made a promise with a deadline for graduation, but this promise is just as unthinkable as that one. If she makes herself special, I don’t think we will be able to graduate from college.

「I’m going back to my room.」

I pull the connected hands toward me to stand up, but they won’t let go. I glare at Sendai-san, and she smiles back.

「Why don’t you stay a little longer? You’ve finished your exams, you can relax.」

「I said I’m going back to my room. Let go of my hand.」

「I’ll let you go if you say you’ll stay here a little longer.」

Sendai-san sometimes says mean things, but not today.

If we keep holding hands like this, I won’t be myself.

「I won’t say it.」

I pull my hand harder than I did before.

「Miyagi, look out. The glass might fall over.」

Even as she said this, Sendai-san wouldn’t let go of my hand.

Our hands, held together for no reason, are more forceful than before, and I feel her body heat more strongly. The heat that comes through clearly makes me want to touch Sendai-san more.

「Sendai-san.」

I call her name, but her hand never leaves my hand.

If that were the case——

I get up on my knees.

My hands have been held together for no reason, and they continue to be held together for no reason, so there should be no reason for what I am about to do.

I place my own lips on Sendai-san’s lips. When I press them lightly against each other, I can feel the heat mixed with the feeling that they are softer than my hands. Sendai-san immediately brought her lips together tightly and removed her face from mine. Then the hands that were immediately connected were released.

「Now you’re kissing me, do you want me to take my hands off you?」

Sendai-san says without hesitation.

I didn’t mean the kiss as an exchange, but I’m not going to bother correcting her. If Sendai-san thought it was a kiss for a reason, then let it be that kind of kiss.

「No.」

When I assured her, Sendai-san asked, 「Then what do you want me to do?」

I inhale, exhale, and then go next to Sendai-san.

「Didn’t I ask for a favor from Sendai-san in this room before?」

「A favor, you say?」

Sendai-san looks at me strangely.

「Did you forget that you asked me for permission to do what you’re about to do?」

Don’t tell me that she had forgotten the incident that led to Maika finding out that Sendai-san and I were sharing a room. I remember well what I did with Sendai-san in this room that day, and I am sure I will always remember it.

「…I remembered it, but.」

Unusually, Sendai-san blurted out.

「That, I didn’t get that back.」

We cannot ask what we want to know, but I can touch Sendai-san. That is how much we have touched each other.

「What do you mean, you didn’t give it back?」

My desire to know has led me to places I hadn’t thought about, and I have a switch I hadn’t anticipated. But it was Sendai-san who held my hand that connected the circuit, and it was her fault for not quickly letting go.

「I listened to you that time, so you should listen to me this time.」

My desire to know has led me to places I hadn’t considered, and I have a switch I hadn’t anticipated. But it was Sendai-san who held my hand that connected the circuit, and it was her fault for not quickly letting go of my hand.

「You mean you want me to do it all over again?」

「Wrong. I’m saying I’ll do Sendai-san. I want to know how Sendai-san will be. Tell me.」

If I touch Sendai-san as she touched me.

If I could hear Sendai-san’s voice like no one else can hear it.

Maybe I won’t be as anxious as I am now about who she is close to or what her priorities are over me.

I know I shouldn’t touch Sendai-san with these feelings, but I can’t stop myself.

Sendai-san sits in the center of me with a big face, and my feelings go toward her like leaves of a tree being sucked into the center of a vortex.

「…What kind of a change of heart is that?」

Sendai-san says as she probes.

「As I said before, I just want to know what will happen to Sendai-san. If you don’t like it, say no. But if you refuse, I’ll never let you do that again.」

When I looked at Sendai-san, she was looking at me with a very serious face.