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”Should I?” Jake asked sharply.

”You know, I mess with you in many ways, but this is actually not one of them, I swear!” the god said very earnestly. Jake at least interpreted it as such. ”You know I already told you to avoid tossing out any baby batter until you are at a higher grade and when you are really sure it is something you wanna do, didn’t I?”

”Explain,” Jake, agreeing that it did seem off.

”So, I was having some fun with the Verdant Witches after you had fun with your little Runemaiden, and I may have said something that made them believe you wanted to, how can I say it, be more out there. Or at least that I believed you should be more liberal,” Villy explained.

”What exactly did you do?” Jake asked, piercing daggers.

The Viper then smirked a bit. ”You know what, wouldn’t it be better if I just showed you?”

”I am not sure I want tha-”

”Too late!” Villy smiled as the entire room disappeared, and Jake knew he was thrown into an illusion. He still saw the room and everything with his sphere… but what his eyes perceived and his ears heard was out of his control. Even the smells.

And damn, did he wish he could turn off those senses only a few seconds later.

A scene appeared before Jake. A large bed with silk sheets lay messy on the floor as three fully naked women were leaning on and pleasuring the Viper lying on the bed. All of the green-haired women looked nearly identical, and all were more than eager. Jake had to admit he was momentarily taken aback at how they looked but quickly flashed back to reality. Or, well, illusion.

One of them, who was snuggling up to his chest, asked. ”It is rare you take the initiative,” she said in a sultry voice.

“What can I say? I felt in the mood?” Villy smirked as he clearly enjoyed himself.

“Oh? Did something good happen?” another of the sisters asked as she ran her fingers across the Viper’s fine scales.

“You can say that. My Chosen finally managed to have a major breakthrough in the arts of not being as dense anymore and got laid,” the Viper laughed a bit. “Not that it is anything serious, but some casual fun is just healthy. He should definitely get himself out there more. It should be good for him.”

The three sisters looked at each other but didn’t say more as they proceeded to get more aggressive. It was at this point Jake would have preferred the illusion to end, but nope, it kept going as Jake sighed. “Villy, I do not need to see your willy in action.”

As if it had never been there, the illusion faded, and Jake was back in the room. The Viper looked at Jake with a shit-eating grin. “Oh, did I misread the situation again?”

Jake shook his head and took a jab in return. “I don’t know what is weirder. You needing me to get laid to get it up, or you enjoying making others watch.”

“Now that is just a blatant misrepresentation,” Villy shook his head. “I like to make you watch because I think it would be funny. I also want you to remember that I used to be a snake and that you humans are the ones who are weird when it comes to copulating. It isn’t that big of a deal, ya know? As long as everyone enjoys it and is willing, who cares what others think?”

“I guess I am just not as free-spirited as you,” Jake shrugged. “And also not as unperceptive if you didn’t even notice the glance they exchanged.”

“Oh, I did notice,” the Viper said. “But I honestly didn’t think they would do anything this fast or make plans with the Hall Master. At most, I thought they would try to push that City Lord on you or make plans behind the scenes to set you up with those they liked. Believe it or not, I am not watching everyone all the time, and even I respect the right to privacy everyone has. Well, unless I have a reason not to respect their rights, in which case I do whatever I want.”

“Very noble of you,” Jake said. “But can I trust you to shut down this entire thing?”

“Maybe,” Villy smirked.

Jake looked at the Viper a bit more seriously, making Villy fully capitulate. “Alright, alright, but just be aware that even if I tell them to stop, that is no guarantee. They know you have a Bloodline, they know you are my Chosen, and they know we have a rather unique relationship. They are socially minded and will want to take advantage of all that, maliciously or not. So they may or may not still do some things behind the scenes that neither of us is aware of before it is too late. Witches are nefariously good planners; you should know that.”

“If I am perfectly honest, then I don’t really know how the witch class even works or how their magic operates,” Jake chuckled.

“Totally fair. I barely get it myself,” the Viper said, surprising Jake. Villy clearly noticed and elaborated.

“Witchcraft is an entire branch of magic that is awfully separated from borderline anything else. Their rituals follow a logic that nothing else does, and their magic is wholly unique. Sure, they do things that are a bit like curses but are actually called hexes. Oh, but hexes can actually create curses, but only if certain criteria are met. What are these criteria? No one fucking knows. It can feel so random at times. Maybe the trees need to be placed in a certain way, the stars form a certain pattern, or a number of highly specific items need to be in the proximity of the ritual.”

“I have noticed they have a lot of… remote magic, I guess is the term?” Jake chipped in.

“Sure. Sometimes. The requirements can once more just be so odd, and even if it is true that they are not as affected by distance as they use mediums for most of their magic, I wouldn’t say it is an inherent trait of the school of magic. Witchcraft can tap into so many other concepts too. Anyway, enough about that, trying to understand witchcraft – or worse, voodoo – is just a great way to mindfuck yourself and lead you astray on your own Path of magic.”

“Got it,” Jake said. “But it is a pretty rare school of magic, isn’t it?”

“Yep,” Villy nodded. “And the best part is that you often won’t know you are fighting a witch before the trees around you suddenly turn into spiders, and the sky begins to rain exploding frogs that insult your hairstyle.”

“I want that to be real more than you can imagine,” Jake laughed.

Villy didn’t flinch as he looked Jake straight in the eyes. “It is. I shit you not, the Verdant Witches wiped out a planet solely by the use of exploding frogs that insulted people before going boom.”

Jake slowly nodded. Note to self, do not piss off witches for any reason and bring back a nice gift for Miranda when you return to Earth.

“Ah, but don’t worry too much. Witches tend to suck in direct combat and rely on hiding and avoiding confrontation. You are close to a direct counter,” Villy added on, giving Jake a bit of relief. “Anyway, was this all you came to talk about?”

“Yeah,” Jake said. “Oh, actually, I am going to a dungeon with Draskil soon. Any tips?”

“Eat things,” Villy just said. “No, seriously. Eat a lot of things. Dungeons are great ways to duplicate ingredients and materials for free, but some of the stronger ones are placed with limitations. I am sure you noticed how things like those Golden Mushrooms from the Undergrowth couldn’t be brought outside the dungeon… the same is true here. But what you can do is eat them, and the knowledge gained from Palate is permanent.”

“Makes a lot of sense,” Jake nodded. He already kind of knew this. He also knew that while it was an “exploit” of sorts to place valuable things in dungeons, it also came with many restrictions, and balancing what could and couldn’t be in dungeons was an entire art. Art for the dungeon architects and dungeon engineers to figure out. He did know that the dungeons tended to require some level of combat before one could access the valuables, which was probably why Draskil was still good to have around. That the Order had made a dungeon that mixed alchemy and combat made sense too.

All factions had their own dungeons designed, often specifically to fit their own needs. Shit, Casper and the Risen planned on making a dungeon on Earth that he would no-doubt design to be helpful when training Risen.

Villy proceeded to give Jake a few more general tips but not much substance.

“Thanks for the tips and for handling your witches with benefits.” Jake finally said, adding on. “You got anything on your mind?

“Eh, just one thing,” Villy said. “Can I check out that bone weapon you got from the system event?”

Jake was a bit surprised and couldn’t hold himself back from asking. “Why? More specifically, why now and not when I got it?”

“I want to check something,” Villy just said. “No worries, it won’t do anything to your other self. The reason I waited was to make sure it was truly stable before checking, and it clearly is.”

“Eh, sure then,” Jake said as he took out the bone katar and handed it to Villy. The god took it in his hand, and Jake felt that Villy was trying to scan it. He could resist the scan and make it impossible even for the Primordial to see anything – due to system-fuckery, of course – but Jake allowed him to scan away.

Villy checked it out for a dozen or so seconds before he nodded. “Thanks, mate. Coming across items like this is rare, and I wanted to make sure of something while also scanning it for future reference.”

Jake got the bone katar back and took note of how sim-Jake didn’t even seem to have noticed, probably busy fighting or training in his Soulspace. “No problem, any time.”

The two of them had some more small talk and shot the shit a bit before they said their goodbyes as Jake did the next thing on his list. He pulled out his token and dialed Reika. It didn’t take long before he got a response.

“Hey there, how are you doing?” Jake asked her once she picked up.

“I am doing well, thank you… but what made you decide to contact me?” Reika asked in a confused tone, clearly not expecting the call.

“It is easier to ask in person. Can you give me your address and I can drop by? Ah, I can also give an update on stuff that happened on Earth and with the system event while we’re at it,” Jake answered.

A few seconds passed before she answered again. “I can, but maybe we should meet somewhere public? As you know, then I live in dorms of sorts, and while we do have our own private chambers, I would not want to create misunderstandings by you visiting.”

“Eh, it should be fine. I don’t care as long as you don’t care,” Jake sent back.

“Alright, fine. When do you plan on coming by?”

“Right now?” Jake asked.

He heard a sigh in answer, followed by a small break. “Alright, but wait at least five minutes, okay? Maybe a bit longer is also okay.”

“Sure,” Jake confirmed.

Still standing in Villy’s room, Jake put the token back into his inventory and looked at the god who looked back at him. They had already said their goodbyes, but Villy read the situation as two bottles of beer appeared.

Well, I do have five minutes…

Reika hurried to clean up her chamber as it was frankly a mess. She even called in her roommate, a beastfolk, to help her get it presentable. She regretted saying five minutes less than five seconds after she said it, but it was too late now. With a bit of panic, she stacked the textbooks in a corner before remembering she had a spatial ring and began tossing them in there.

“Will he even care?” Bastilla asked as she helped put away some glassware.

Reika shook her head at her friend. “Maybe, maybe not. Either way, it needs to look presentable if a guest comes over.”

“Sure,” the beastfolk just shrugged.

“Thanks for helping,” Reika smiled.

“Eh, it wasn’t like I had anything better to do, and this guy got gold in the test, right? Sounds like a good guy to get friendly with,” Bastilla waved her off.

Reika shook her head as she kept cleaning up. Before coming to the Order of the Malefic Viper, she would never have imagined the situation she was in now. She was ashamed to say it, but she was very uncomfortable around anything and anyone that wasn’t human or at least very close to a human when she first got there.

Elves, dwarves, and whatnot she was fine with. But Dragonkin? Beastfolk? Demons? Weird elemental creatures? She was very averse to their presence. Reika wouldn’t say they scared her, but they were off-putting. It took her a while to begin to truly view them as people rather than just… monsters.

Bastilla had been the one to truly open her eyes. Her father was a winged lion-like beast, and her mother an elf. Reika had wrestled with how that was even possible until she learned Bastilla’s dad could take human form and was in late C-grade when she was born.

Her heritage meant Bastilla had a very lithe form and cat-like features, as well as fine golden hair covering her entire body, even her face. She even had two moth or butterfly-like wings she could summon. She didn’t look like the oft-fetishized cat girls of the old world that were pretty much just humans with cat ears, but a true fusion between man and beast. Reika had not liked her in the beginning as Bastilla was crude, always stared with her beastly eyes, and was generally overly curious. Yet with time, she came to learn that Bastilla was just inquisitive and highly skilled in alchemy. She had a talent for it, and she had a Perception-based build, making her great at analyzing and seeing the crafting process.

By now, they were genuinely good friends, and as they had the same shared living space connected to their personal chambers, they often interacted and even had many of the same lessons.

Reika and Bastilla continued to clean, and Reika saw five minutes had passed. Yet he was not there yet, nor had he pinged her to show he had arrived, so they kept making the space more presentable. Ten minutes passed as it was close to perfect.

A quarter of an hour.

Half an hour.

Only forty minutes later did Reika get a ping on her token that Jake had arrived at the gate… now standing in a completely spotless room.